July 20
Are enlisted military members and officers allowed to be friends?
I know this sounds like a stupid question but I am just curious.I am a new military wife and when we were looking at housing here at our base they made it clear that streets were designated seperately for enlisted,senior NCO’s and officers.It isnt even the size of the house because for the most part they are close to the same except for officers houses obviously being seperate.When I asked my husband he said something about how it was to prevent fraternization.Just curious about opinons.Thanks!
sort of it is not normal for enlisted to associate with officers and it’s not the norm for NCOs to associate with lower enlisted but it happens from time to time.
Separation of housing… yes, it is to prevent fraternization. But, it is also to do with the people you would probably be living around out in the real world. If you were a newly married, 22 year old…. would you really want to live next door to your supervisor or your boss? Probably not. You’d probably end up in an area full of folks in your same age range and same income range. Samething in the military. An A1C does not want to live next door to a Chief or a Major. And, that Chief has no desire to live next door to a young Capt.
As for friendships… it really depends. AF is probably the most lenient when it comes to this. Hubby can be friends with officers outside of his chain of command, but when it uniform he must still address them as an officer and maintain a different level with them. Due to our church family, we have friends of all ranks. At church it’s Jim, Dave, Steve, etc. On base in uniform, it’s LT, Col. W, Major L, etc. Heck, we’re even good friends with a squadron commander and his family. Outings, trips, etc. But, in uniform… he is no longer Bud, he is Major B.
Now, within my hubbys chain of command… it’s a major no-no. Spouses… we can be friends with whoever we want. We have no rank, we are just people!
Its frowned upon. Officers are trained to cut short and not sustain conversation with enlisted personnel.
The Army regs state that (in my own words)
It’s ok so long as there is no cohabitation, no business relationship (selling a car is ok..but amway is not..etc.), and if the officer is not in the enlisted person’s chain of command. Also, so long as it does not interfere with good order and discipline.
I’m E6 Army and I had an O3 friend in the Air force. We would hang out every other week or so.
Oh…sexual relationships are prohibited..unless it started before the person became an officer.
Hello to Airmanswife:
Enlisted persons and Officers should not become ‘friendly.’ As it is the responsibility of the officer corps to lead the enlisted corps if there were personal friendships between an officer and an enlisted person in the military it could be the source of a breakdown in discipline for the entire unit your husband is assigned to.
First off, it is unfair to the officer because the other airman and NCOs of the squadron could perceive that your husband was receiving special treatment by the officer.
Second, it is unfair to those who are also friends of your husband. Because, if your husband started a friendship with an officer then that would be less time he would spend with other enlisted members whom he worked daily with.
That is why the subject of Fraternization is so important in the military.
There can be a few times where it is good for the squadron to have public functions where both officers and airmen gather together. A squadron picnic, or a squadron sports event, or squadron Christmas party, or such events like a Dining Out dinner and function is appropriate. But, these events are unit events and not friendship meetings.
Remember this, many officers wish that they could enjoy the group togetherness that enlisted airmen and NCOs naturally have that we enlisted take for granted. In any squadron there may be only as few as 10 or so officers and upwards of 100 or more enlisted members. There are more opportunities for enlisted to develop friendships and have a great time with each other than trying to make a friendship with an officer.
I am sure after you get more settled on-base in your housing area you will find friendships with your neighbors whom often work together and share the same lifestyle as you and your husband. Just be patient and you will enjoy your Air Force experience.
Be well.
Larry Smith
SMSgt., USAF, (Ret.)
First Sergeant